


“I’m not actually thin, you know.”

by theworldunseen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 19:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4888423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theworldunseen/pseuds/theworldunseen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you can change everything about your appearance at will, what secrets can you hide, and who do you tell them too?</p>
<p>Takes place in Book 5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	“I’m not actually thin, you know.”

“I’m not actually thin, you know.” 

They were in the kitchen of number 12, Grimmauld Place. It was late — even Sirius had gone to bed — but Remus and Tonks still sat across from each other, half asleep and nursing warm drinks in the glow of the dying fire. He’d been staring at said fire when she said it, so it almost felt like she was talking to herself. But when he turned back, she was staring at him, but not quite able to meet his eyes.

“Everyone knows I change my hair and eyes, but I change my waist size too.”

She paused. When he waited more than a moment to respond, a blush slowly began to creep up her cheeks and into her ears.

“When was the first time you did it?” He coughed as he said it — he hadn’t spoken in a while. Though he wouldn’t admit it, she made him too nervous to speak sometimes.

“That’s not what I thought you’d ask.” She rubbed her lips together, considering the answer. “I might have been fifteen? Maybe younger.” He felt so sad for her in that moment, and she saw it on his face. She stiffened, looked away. “I didn’t tell you so you’d feel sorry for me.”

“I didn’t think you did. What _did_ you think I would ask?”

She got up, walked over to the fireplace, and poked it uselessly. “How big I am,” she whispered, almost impossible for him to hear. She almost wanted to grow her pixie cut out right there just to hide her face from him. “But I can show you if you want.” The words came out so quickly, and she immediately wanted to shove them back inside. She wanted to shove the last five minutes back inside. She didn’t have a Time Turner, did she? But if she did and she used it, it wouldn’t keep this from happening, right? Something about the metaphysics —

“Do you want to show me?”

She finished her drink in one swig and felt a surge of confidence and clarity.

 “Listen,” she said, “This isn’t really about you. It sounds like New Age bullocks, but I realized that I need to love myself. And that’s hard when I can constantly change everything about my physical appearance?” Her hair turned blue, whether for emphasis or accidentally, he was not sure. “When I didn’t like my hair, or my nose, or my waist line, I changed it. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with pink hair.”

“Your hair is currently blue,” he interjected. She blushed again: It had been an accident.

“Right. But I do think there’s something wrong with hiding other parts of me. With not begin honest.” She sat on the table next to him, so nervous and excited she was almost shaking.

“Being honest about who you are is harder for some than others, though,” Remus added, knocking back the last of his drink as well.

“Oh Remus I didn’t mean it like that! I mean, here I am complaining about being able to make myself look however I want, when you —”

He touched her hand to quiet her, and her heart beat faster, which she hadn’t thought possible. Would she die on the floor of number 12 Grimmauld Place of something as pedestrian as a heart attack?

“I know you, I wasn’t — I didn’t — Don’t worry.” There was something so calming about him, her anxiety seeped away as if by command.

And suddenly she was bigger. Rounder? Fatter. More full, is what Remus would have said. The bony hollows of her neck filled in, her stomach stuck out, her cheeks swelled. She’d have felt less exposed if she were naked. But the look in his eyes was more sweet and tender — and full of love? She didn’t want to think it, but yet — than it’d been a moment before.

“Why _did_ you think I wanted to tell you?” She whispered again, but it was different. Full of confidence and something he didn’t want to name, but that made his hairs stand on end.

He shook his head softly, his overgrown hair falling into his eyes. Their faces were so close, neither could breath.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said.

Like magic, the fire finally died as their lips finally touched.

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I have a Tonks head canon that she's fat and uses her Metamorphmagus to hide the parts about herself she doesn't like.
> 
> This is the first fic I've written in ten years oops.


End file.
